Life goes on
Posted by clarence in Sep 30, 2011, under Uncategorized
Back to blogging here, again. I do miss blogging, for most of the time as so many things came across my mind that want to share it out with everyone. Unfortunately, to-do-list just wouldn’t let me to do so. Tons of things queueing up for me to complete. Well, lots of things happened, obviously.
Before I got my SPM result, college life started. My result didn’t appeared as what I expected it’ll be, disappointed. All that happened didn’t really calm me down as all these aren’t what I want. Ironically, I’m glad of all these happened. I started to realize that everythin fell on place, things happened to reason, God’s plan. Believe it or not? At first, everythin seems so wrong that I always mumbled by myself sayin that, “I’m not supposed to be here”, “I could’ve own that”, “I deserve a better one” and etc. At the end, everything around me had shown that I’m in the right place and were destined to be here.
After had gone through the thunders and storms all the while, my pride of youth grown stronger and wiser.
As I would like to share with everyone, a quote that I stil remember, ‘Life goes on no matter how awful or greatful it’ll be’.
So, yeah. Live without regret!!
Shed tears
Posted by clarence in Jun 28, 2010, under 1
28 june 2010
I’ve been stopped updating my blog since there’s an exam and time are jus that pack. Isit too weak in managing my schedule?? But anyhow, i wont forget my blog.
Well…Recently, my father resigned from his job. I wonder why he did so. Questions bugging around my head… Answer’s there but no guts to find out from dad. Mom kept scold lots of things bout father of resignin before gets a new job. Mother works dwi-jobs to pay some of the debts and of coarse not loan shark.
I wanted so much to know how to save money as there’s so many stuff i have to pay like for food? School’s stuff? And extra stuff?? I always got ways.. Just that i’m tired of thinking so much bout MONEY! I jus hate t see parents worried bout it. I cant work as I got SPM this year. I hate when i cant help to solve something. Frankly, i looked tough and at the same time,i’m not when ppl realise bout it. Usually i seldom express out my prob especially those that are sad. And even hardy revealed my feelings..I might be laughing out that loud, enjoyin so much, inside, I have problems, a lot, usually family’s problem. Next would be studies..
Its not that fun when saw anyone doesn need to worry bout their financial problem. Cried, but in heart. I wonder how much i’ve cried wit that. Physically for sure not gonna cry. Its too pain… Yet, my princip is stil there. Be tough even i cant. I know there’s someone i could depend. But i felt the more they gave me, the weaker i am. I’m trying to avoid that evil minded. I wouldnt fall for that…I’m standing against it!! Evil’s trap are everywhere, jus everywhere.
Just one thing i could do, pray, God bless..
Scolded monkey
Posted by clarence in May 08, 2010, under May 2010
8may2010
Came back from tuition and on the way home, i were told to make sure monkey to do al the exercises given and even some papers lik exam. Was stomachache since morning after ate that chicken floss before tuition.
Those exercises given to monkey, the younger de to do. Argued with both monkey. Younger monkey went in room. Elder was at hall. Scold him till wanna cry. Both no manners. I scolded them very teruk. I said other ppl look down on them but i din. Even own mom also said the ”stupid” words towards then but i din. Coz i know they can study. But what i got? I treat them so good and they could even behave that badly in front of me. I asked if anyone else that wil always say they’re clever and so on. Can study but don wan study…Don wan study still behave that terrible. Even both of them, I could see, they wanted to cry too.
I went to my rooms and busy with my stuff. Cried.
Later on was my grandma..She cmplained my dad married he wrong ppl and so on. Should have married a better one than my mm. Hello? cant lok forward? i was eatin infront of her, my back face her, i told her not to say anymore. Say edi also useless. what for wanna say. Cant change anything also. WHile i eat the rice, it wasn’t nice, i wanted to throw away but i din. I thought of God. If i throw, i’m wasting. I even eat together with my tears. Tears kept rolling down, silently. I guess grandma din know.?? Grandma even say its right not to say it back coz there’s no use to regret anymore.BUT!!! she stil continue say?? what does this mean?? T.T if they din crazy, i might crazy. One family wert… Why wanna lik this? Family…No one supposed to left behind!! Family!! Always together!! F.A.M.I.L.Y…family~
HIstory class
Posted by clarence in May 07, 2010, under May 2010
7May2010
Last week’s history class were cancelled. The first class only and it was cancelled. This make a bad impression to other new student like my fren. Luckily today’s class were not cancelled.
Our history teacher, named Mr.Shiva. Lots of people thought it was the same Mr.Shiva from ET includin me. Just when the teacher came in the class, I wanted to laugh man~ Compared to the ET, he’s old. Well.. I expect teacher would teache but teacher din. I kept look at the time to pass. For that one whole period, teacher was telling us the ramalan. Great…Good to know whats coming out for SPm. It lightens my stress.. =)
SEJARAH YEA!!!
^_^
My english paper 2
Posted by clarence in May 05, 2010, under 1, May 2010
5May2010
Previously, my english paper, essay part, i din get to finish up. So, i guess i finish it here..
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It was the first semester of the year in Shadyside Highschool has just started. Everyone was busy preparing themselves for their test which was just around the corner. Every year, schools will always choose the top students for the scholarship to the senior Highschool College. It wasn’t as easy as there were many great competitors in Shadyside Highschool. Both of my sisters had been chosen for the scholarship for the previous year. NOt surprisingly I’m one of the top students too. Father had pressured me a lot on my studies so that I could get scholarship too which same as my sisters. Mom was still lying sickly on her bed since the incident happened last year where she met with an accident when she’s on her way back home just to make tuna bread for me. Guilt went through my skin whenever I thought of it.
A meting had just ended with all the members of English Society. There were a few reports that had to be done by tomorrow. Josh, a boyfriend of mine, would always help me out throughout the report whenever I get too tired or even busy. Sarah is my bestfriend and also James. This evening, Sarahcame to my house with her classmates, Martin to study for tomorrow’s test. All of us having a great time discussing and solving all the exercises that Mr.Brandon gave us today, my biology teacher.
Time pass that fast and the biology test was ended. Josh was so caring that he had brought me lunch as he knew I hadn’t eaten anything yet since morning. But then, Josh had been acting strangely since the Biology test. Recently, Sarah had always gone out somewhere with Josh an left me alone. James came up to me since he’s alone too. We’ve been so close for these couple days. At the same time, Josh Still always with Sarah. I don’t mind as Sarah was my bestfriend.
All the test had ended, what a relieved. Josh brought me to a Italian restaurant to celebrate my birthday. He brought a beautiful, black classic dress for me. I could wore that to the Prom Night this coming Saturday. Next morning, biology paper had given back to all the students included me. It was so awful that I could get a ’ B ‘ for my biology test. The teacher must have marked wrongly. I never got a ‘ B ‘ before for my biology test. Soon, I met Mr.Brandon to complain about my grade. Hopefully he would change it. Unfrtunately, Mr.Brandon told me that that was the grade I should get. I went home and my father still didn’t know about my result. I cant let him felt so down as he’s worrying a lot about my ill mom.
Everyone in the school knew about my biology’s grade. They must be laughing and teasing me now. Even Josh had persuaded me several times but I gave no response. Josh and Sarah were so worried about me I decided to find Mr.Brandon again to try my luck once more if he could change my grade. Once i turned the door grip and opened the door, I smelt blood. The smell was so strong. I shouted when I found Mr. Brandon already dead under his table with a knife stabbed right to his chest.
Now, everyone had been suspecting that I was the one that murdered Mr.Brandon for my biology’s grade. Josh had been acted so cold since he knew about Mr.Brandon’s death. …..
[Here I stopped during exam and i straight wrote "I miss my teacher so much even he had gone".So obvious it was hang half way. DOnt even found the murderer yet. SWT!! anyway, I continue here =) ]
…. Sarah was the only one that still accompany me all the time. How glad I am to have such a wonderful sisterhood at this moment. Sarah believes I wouldn’t do such cruel thing even I would do anything to have my result a straight A. Yes, I admitted I said before I wanted Mr.Brandon to die because of my biology’s grade. I wouldn’t hope so if he had shifted to Shadyside Highschool and so coincident he was the one that would teach my class biology lesson. However, I really didn’t mean it to hope he really would die.
I told Sarah I’m going home because tired of the rumours around the school. Sarah understand and she told me to ignore them. I nodded and went back home right after I took my bags from my locker. As soon as i reached outside of my house gate, there’s a white car parked right in front of my house. Nobody was in there. Just when I opened the house door, mom were sitting opposite a man. I guessed they’ve been waiting for me. The man introduced himself, the Inspector Brian. Also, he said the reason he came to my house is to request about Mr.Brandon’s death. I hesitated and agreed to be requested. After an hour like that, Inspector Brian drove his car away as soon as he had finished request me. Mom hand me a glass of water and I were told to rest in room. I went up towards my room and laid my bag on the chair. I lied down on my bed and fell asleep.
My phone rang in a sudden. I looked at the clock, it was 1A.M. midnight. I wonder who’s calling at this hour. No number stated from the call. It must be calling from public phone. I picked up. A male’s voice, he says that he’ll do whatever thing as long as I would be happy. I thought Josh was playing around with me but it doesn’t sounds lik Josh. It kept repeating over and over again. So I just end the call. But the prank call wouldn’t leave me. It continued for few days and making me felt even more scarier.
It was the day where everyone’s waiting for, the Prom Night. It was held at the school’s hall. With the bright chandelier shines the hall and everyone’s suits. Josh and I won the award for the most sweetest couple of the night. Later on, James accidently poured his wine on my dress. So, I went to toilet for a little wash. As I looked on the mirror, a sentence written in red lipstick says, “YOU’RE MINE,NOT JOSH!!”. I were so shocked and ran out. I told Josh and Sarah about it. Just when everyone was enjoying themselves, the chandelier suddenly went off. The hall was so dark and screams everywhere. The light were back in 10 minutes and teacher told everyone to cool down as everything was fine back. We were told that someone had shut down the electricity.
Josh lead me out to a quiet place. He said wanted to confess to me something. As what he said, he went to find Mr.Brian before I did. He couldn’t bear to see i’m so sad.He begged Mr.Brian lots of times but he got out of control. Josh punched the teacher but got hitted on his head by someone else. Just when he awakes, he found Mr.Brian already dead under his table. He immediately ran out and pretend as if nothing had happened. Tears rolled down my cheeks and hugged him. He wanted to tell it to police on another week after he spend every seconds he could first. Josh sent me back to my home. I watched his car drove away. Then I headed to my room.
My parents must be sleeping now as they have to woke up early in the morning. I was surprised when I saw my bed and things on my desk weren’t in the exact position like usual. I sensed something wrong and slowly walk around. A hugged from behind in a sudden. Just as I wanted to scream, it’s palm covered my mouth. Whispered beside my ear, it was James. A knife pointed to shut me up. I was so nervous that I could even hardly breathe. James knelt down and sobbed. He said he had been missing me all the time and was so hurt when I broke him up last 2 years ago. He still loves me like as usual but he got no idea to be with me again. He was so upset too when he saw I was so depressed for my biology test. He killed Mr.Brian and make everything like it was Josh the one that killed teacher so that everyone would thought he was the murderer. Unfortunately Josh got away and so coincident I went in. I shouldn’t went in that time, which ruin his plan. James pleaded me to break with Josh and be with him.
Just at the right time, Josh appeared in front of my door with a lipgloss of mine in his hand. I shouted Josh for help. James gasped and fought with Josh. Both fell and struggled, rolling on the floor, and wrestling. My leg were too weak to stand, heart pounding so fast and only could shouted for help from parents. Dad came in and stopped the fight. James were arrested after that and few police requested us of what had happened. Josh went back to his home.
Once everyone got back to school, the news had spread around. I saw Josh, with a bandage around his palm, probably got injured all the while in the fight yesterday. We got a wide smile and relieved a lot. Finally the truth had revealed and Josh doesn’t need to be arrested anymore. End of year, everyone graduated and I got the scholarship, and even Josh got it too. Somehow, I would thought of the incident that terrified me. At the same time, I would tell Josh that I missed my teacher even he had gone.
End.
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sorry coz its kinda long… =)
Wat a day~
Posted by clarence in May 04, 2010, under May 2010
4May2010
Got back history papers, FAILED, i got 39%. =.= congrats~ My classmates don believe i did myself. They thought i copy for paper1. Objective quest, if don know answer, circle either the shortest or longest answer la..Thats how i did my paper1. I was so AM GONG got 32correct over 40. AM GONG nia ok??
Then accounts, i know i did it very terrible. I’d wasted lots of marks. But what to do?? Not enough sleep ma. My head is so heavy la wei~ Is not that i really don wan do bu is i cant get to force my mind from thinkin it harder. Well.. I failed, got 38% only.
Next was when i’m waitin for Von’s mom outside along school’s fence there. Suddenly got a thing drip down. Bird’s shit!!! My gaawwwddd~~~~ ANyway,i use the ice-cream sticks to wipe away. And of coarse wash it… Luckily kena my hand only.. SWT!!!!
=)
Cant wait to take pin number..=)
Posted by clarence in May 03, 2010, under May 2010
2May2010
As long as i met Pn.Yusnita, automatically would remind me of pin number to apply for a college. My aim was Matriculation. It was only 10% of chances for non-malay to successfully enter it. I’ll lik to bet wit it..My new war… It’s chances was so thin but who knows?? Maybe i could be the one?? Anyway, I put my hope one it 60%. Mom suggested me to go for form6. Form6 isn’t that bad as i could study more indetailed. College is just part of my hope. It wasnt that big deal if i cant get to enter college after form5. I wanted to enter this college is jus because to see my luck n of coarse this would helps me to decrease my/parents burden. But if can, i really hope i could get it. And same goes to scholarship. Not everyone could get it. God bless~~ ^_^
^_^
Haunts me
Posted by clarence in May 02, 2010, under May 2010
2 May 2010
I always had nightmare since primary. Once, i followed my sis to church, i as a visitor only, we saw Commander. We had a short talk. Then sis came up wit the nightmares i had. Commander heard and she and I prayed? She holds my hand and said somethin from God and so on. I thought i wont had nightmares anymore but i’m wrong. MOst of the time i had stupid nightmares. If it was weird type, i don care. But if it was scary, I jus hope i would jus stay awake.What does my dreams wanna tell me? Isit giving me warning of something? Isit my past? Isit because i read too many horror stories or movies? Isit my punishment? Or its jus so coincident have that stupid nightmares? =.= What a great stories i have seen in my dream~~ =X
Love in Maths type? (Lets check it out)
Posted by clarence in May 01, 2010, under May 2010
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^_^blaCkoUt!!
Posted by clarence in Apr 30, 2010, under April 2010
30April2010
Around 1something midnite, there’s a blackout when i was blogging half way. I thought it was jus a little while. But din know it was ALL NIGHT! i have to stop blogging n cant even revise my accounts. I kept hopin that another 1 hour more, it’ll back to normal. But it didnt.. Sigh~ It turned to be normal back when it was the time i should have wake up edi. Swt la..
Next day exam, i did my papers badly. I was so headache n jus only could think of sleep!!! Heads are so heavy.. No appetite either… Thats why exam time should have enough sleep. Otherwise i’l be gettin a nice red n round egg from teacher. Great~~ Damn moody..
anyway, here’s a song that guan joo recommended to me
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^_^







